


To These Memories, I Will Hold

by Skyeec2



Series: Strifesodos Week 2017 [4]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Featuring the Queer Trooper Posse, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Song Lyric Title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 16:37:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11256765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyeec2/pseuds/Skyeec2
Summary: Day Four of Strifesodos Week 2017. The prompt I chose was Memories.





	To These Memories, I Will Hold

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who was going to write fluff. This person!  
> Guess who ended up listening to ‘The Last Goodbye’ from the Hobbit movies on repeat for two hours and writing to that instead. This person!  
> A.k.a This person is sorry.

Cloud had been buying groceries to restock his home when he heard someone calling out his name, “Cloud?! Is that you?!”

He turned in the direction of the voice, searching for a recognizable figure in the crowd surrounding him. He didn’t see anyone he recognized and had been about to turn around and resume his shopping when a hand landed on his arm, causing him to jump and jerk his head towards who had grabbed him.

“It is you! Gaia Cloud, we thought you were dead!”

The guy looked… familiar? Maybe? Cloud couldn’t quite remember.

“Oh, just wait until I tell the Sammy and Johnson! They’ll never believe this!” Whoever this guy was he sure sounded excited about whatever he was talking about. Something about Johnson and…

Cloud knew Sammy.

He was sure he knew someone named Sammy. If it was the same person than this guy must be…

“McCaplain?! Is that you?!” Cloud couldn’t believe his eyes, he hadn’t seen McCaplain since before Nibelheim. “You made it through Meteor Fall?”

McCaplain nodded enthusiastically, a large grin painting his features. “Yeah! We made it out, we helped with the evacuation when it all came tumbling down.” His face sobered as he spoke his next words, “what happened to you Cloud? They wouldn’t tell us anything.”

Cloud shook his head, smile dropping from his face as he responded. “This isn’t the place to talk about it.”

McCaplain nodded, donning a serious expression. “I’ll call up the guys and get them to meet up at my place. You can tell us everything there.”

Cloud agreed with a soft word, he could wait a day to restock his kitchen.

* * *

McCaplain’s home was much nicer than his was; it was homey, more lived in than his apartment. It was obvious that this was a place someone lived in, where numerous people spent their time.

It had a pair of faded, comfortable couches, mismatching chairs and table with all the best-worse take-out menus scattered across it. It was remarkably similar to what Cloud remembered of their shared apartment in Shinra; it even had that smell of days-old leftovers permeating the room.

It was perfect for catching up with his old friends.

McCaplain ushered him over to the couch the moment they walked into the apartment, leaving Cloud to fuss with his sword and moving into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. Knowing him, it would be the blackest, bitterest drink Cloud would ever have the honour of tasting.

Cloud flicked his eyes around the apartment as he waited for McCaplain to return, taking in the numerous pictures that lined the wall.

There were quite a few of all of them from Shinra’s glory days, as well as several including the friends they had lost during the war and mass desertion. Cloud spied a few more of just the guys at various stages of time; their Infantry uniforms, the freshy destroyed ruins of Midgar, the construction of Edge and several other he couldn’t identify.

It seemed that Johnson had kept his love of pictures through all these years; the older man had told Cloud that photos were like little pockets of time you could keep forever, so why not display them where they could be appreciated?

Cloud hadn’t understood at the time, but after losing everything that made him _him_ … Well, he had more appreciation for things like photographs and journals.

The front door opened before McCaplain finished with the coffee and Cloud found himself in a familiar, strong embrace. “You’re alive, you little spit-fuck!”

Yeah, that definitely sounded like Sammy.

He set Cloud down after crushing his ribcage and held him at a length in order to inspect him properly, giving Cloud the perfect opportunity to do the same. Sammy looked great; he had lost any softness to his frame over the years and now stood at least a head taller than Cloud was. Not to mention all the obvious muscle on his frame.

“Shit Cloud, you barely look any different since the last time I saw you!” Sammy’s voice was equal parts bewildered and joyous as he finished inspecting Cloud. It wasn’t exactly news to him, Cloud had been informed that there might be some _unforeseen_ consequences to Hojo’s efforts to make a replacement Sephiroth, he had decided to ignore the whole ‘No Longer Ageing’ issue for the moment.

“You got ugly.” He told Sammy, face and tone the perfect deadpan. This caused the other man to erupt into laughter, his entire body shaking with the force of it.

“You’re right there!” He laughed, sitting down on the couch with him. “Good thing my lady’s not dating me for my looks!”

“You’re dating someone?” Cloud asked, unable to resist a small jest to the end of his question, “do your muscles know?”

“Completely unaware,” Sammy responded, smile belying his attempt at seriousness. “Good thing I only care about how _they_ look.”

Cloud snorted, giggles falling from his mouth, completely at ease in the familiarity of his old friend. He hadn’t been able to realize how much he missed them until he remembered them.

“Let me tell you about her,” Sammy offered, features softening as he spoke. “It’ll save me from having to drink that shit McCaplain calls coffee.”

“You wouldn’t know good coffee if it bit you on the arse!” Was called from the kitchen, sending Cloud into another fit of laughter.

“You’re right there but I know that that’s not good coffee and it _has_ bit me on the arse!”

“Wait until Johnson gets here! Then he’ll tell you how _great_ my coffee is!”

“He’d say anything to keep you paying half the rent.” Sammy called back, the resulting silence more telling than any words McCaplain could have responded with.

Cloud had definitely missed his friends.

* * *

Johnson arrived a few minutes later and they all started to catch each other up on everything that had happened since Cloud was sent on that mission to Nibelheim. It took several hours, several more pots of coffee and a few awful pizzas with questionable toppings before they reached a point where they all had a general idea of what had happened in the past eight or so years.

McCaplain and Johnson were sharing the apartment together for the cheaper rent and Sammy was currently living with his girlfriend of two years and was thinking about popping the question. He had showed Cloud a picture of her and even he had to admit that she looked beautiful, he hoped things worked out for them.

Meanwhile, McCaplain and Johnson were both enjoying very different single lives and were happy with how things were going for them.

They were all very curious about his life now that he wasn’t so much of a walking mental case anymore but he didn’t really have much to tell them; he had a space of his own, to job to put gil in his pocket and talked to his old teammates on occasion but little more than that.

Johnson, always the more empathetic of his friends, cried when he told them about what happened in Nibelheim, pulling him into an embrace as Cloud’s voice stuttered with emotion he doubted he would ever be able to deal with when he spoke of Zack’s death.

They all had something to say about his teammates when he described them, making Cloud promise to at least introduce them to _some_ of his, newer, more colourful friends. Cloud made a mental note to do just that; they’d get along with Cid _so_ well.

Things were starting to wind down, the combination of bitter coffee, greasy pizza and emotional fatigue leaving them drained. Cloud had been about to pass out on the couch when Johnson shot up next to him, startling him with the sudden movement.

“I’ve got all your stuff.” Johnson told him, moving around the couch and further into the apartment. “Wait here while I get it,” he shot over his shoulder.

Cloud watched him go, confused about what he meant by ‘his stuff’. He couldn’t begin to guess what Johnson could possibly mean. It seemed that the other two knew what Johnson meant though, they had both perked up from where they had been slumped against the cushions, about to pass out themselves.

When he returned, he had a large box labelled ‘Cloud’ in his hands. The box would have been rather plain looking if not for the numerous kitten stickers stuck to its surface.

“We packed your stuff away when they announced you M.I.A.,” Johnson explained, returning to his seat on the couch. “We expected some family member to come get it or at least ask for us to send it but that never happened so we just kept it,” he finished with a shrug and handed the box to Cloud.

“The stickers were McCaplain’s idea.” Sammy informed him, earning a jab from the man in question.

Cloud shot his friend a look, recieving a sheepish smile in return, before turning his attention to the box. He took a deep breath and opened the lid.

The contents were not what he had been expecting at all.

Folded at the top of the box was a soft, burgundy jumper, it felt familiar to Cloud though he couldn’t quite place why yet. When he lifted it he discovered that it was a few sizes too large for him and bringing the fabric to his nose gave him the impression of apples and spice. He felt his chest ache at the memory of the scent by couldn’t recall the association.

The rest of the box’s contents, hidden under the jumper were similarly confusing; books containing love letters on the inside covers, a small apple blossom encased in glass, a jewellery box and a large number of photographs.

Cloud decided to leave the other items for the moment and focus on the pictures tied together in a large stack. The first photo he looked at caused his heart to stutter as tears sprung to his eyes.

It was of his Mother.

He had forgotten what she looked like, after everything that had happened to him, and had resigned himself to only having a faint impression of concern and love in place of an actual memory. But having real _pictures_ of her…

He had forgotten how alike they looked, how her eyes shone when she was happy or proud of him and how she preferred to have her hair tied up out of her way when she worked. He had forgotten long days spent looking for food in the mountains and longer nights spent curled up together listening to her stories as they tried to stave off the cold winter nights.

He had forgotten so much about his Mother.

He felt a warm hand rubbing soothing circles on his back and knew without looking that his friends were watching him with obvious concern. But he needed to finish looking through everything.

He passed a few photos of friends long passed before landing on one that made his breath halt in his throat.

It was a picture of him and a man, older than him, taller with shoulder-length red hair asleep on the couch of the apartment he had once shared with the other’s in Shinra. The next few photos were of a similar nature; him and the man relaxed and content in each other’s company.

Why did looking at these photos make his chest ache?

He paused after a few more photos, stopping on one capturing the red-haired man pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. He lifted his head to lock his gaze with his friend’s and asked in a trembling voice, “who… Who is he?”

He watched as they traded glances before McCaplain answered him in a soft tone, “that’s Genesis Rhapsodos. You two were pretty serious for a while.”

Something told Cloud that that wasn’t the entirety of the story. He _knew_ it wasn’t.

But he just _couldn’t remember_ …

“What happened?” He asked, staring at his friend pleadingly. “I know _something_ happened. What was it?”

Johnson was the one to answer this time, “he deserted.” He said gently, hand continuing its movements over Cloud’s back. “He disappeared in Wutai and took his men with him. He led several attacks against Shinra until he was pronounced K.I.A. five years ago.”

Cloud couldn’t hope to contain the sob that tore itself from his throat as memories assaulted his mind.

Memories of receiving cheesy poems in the back of covers.

Memories of awkward first dates the first few hesitant weeks of being a couple.

Memories of wrapping himself in his boyfriend’s soft, comforting jumper while the other was away on long missions.

Memories of lying curled against a warm body, feeling safer than he’d ever been.

Memories of his birthday where he was gifted the most beautiful flower he’d ever seen.

Memories of quick, fleeting kisses in the corridors of Shinra.

Memories of the last time he saw the other; standing far too close together in the loading area. He remembered the other hadn’t cared who saw them as he pulled him into a deep kiss before presenting him with a small box. He remembered how stunned he was when he opened it to discover that the twin to the earring currently resting in the other’s ear lying with. He remembered the other’s promise to return safely.

He remembered the horror he felt when the initial M.I.A. report came in. How he worried himself sick for weeks before his friends got him back to his feet. He remembered sleepless nights curled around the other’s jumper, slowly losing its comforting scent, and praying his his safe return.

He remembered his heartbreak during the first attack on Shinra and each attack thereafter.

He remembered being ignored in Medioheim, treated like he was less than nothing, not even worthy of acknowledgement, by the person he cared so much for. He remembered weeping after returning from that mission and his resolve to never be in such a position again. He remembered only taking the earring out before being sent out on missions.

He remembered Genesis Rhapsodos.

And Gaia, did it hurt.


End file.
